The Krinner Christmas tree stand

American Christmas tree stands are an abomination. A typical home store will have a display of ones like these, which I saw on display at Home Depot.

They range in price from $15 to $40 but they are all the same variations of failure and frustration. They require you to lie on your stomach under the tree, screwing in little pins, an imprecise, slow, and uncomfortable if not painful operation. When you are done, your spouse will inform your that the tree is not plumb. If you don’t want to ruin the evening you will curse inwardly only.

In stark contrast is the Krinner Christmas tree stand, which I paid €30 for at Bauhaus in Berlin. Opening it each year is like an early Christmas present.

A metal pin at the base holds the tree stump in place. A stainless steel wire operated by a crank clamps around the tree. Here I am opening it.

To work it, you just drop the tree in, and, while standing, level the tree by grabbing its trunk. When you are ready, you just step down on the lever with your foot. The arms pull in and automatically adjust to the contours of the tree. No fiddling, frustration, or freaking out. When you are done, your spouse will tell you how nice the tree looks.

The box says “SEHR GUT”.

Can confirm.

This removes enough stress from my life that I’d gladly pay €30 for it every year, but I only had to pay it once, and expect to pass this thing down in my will.

Anyway, fröhliche Weinschten to the German engineers who built this thing. It is a huge failure of the free market that this thing is not sold here in the States. I would expect stacks of these at nice stores like Ace Hardware.


©2019 Matt Post